My traumahealing journey

My story and how I succeeded to heal myself significantly

How everything began

When my parents separated in the mid of '90s when I was 9yrs old, my childhood paradise suddenly came to an end. This made me loose the roots I had by suddenly being pulled out of the wellknown (social) environment I've had before. Additionally for a long time nobody was there who was sufficiantly empathic and willing to really listen to my unfulfilled needs. 
Several years of mobbing at school followed, because gotten unrooted myself, I was prone to be the ventile of the unconcious anger of my classmates, and at that time still not selfconfident enough again to defend myself. So I ended up being a shy grey mouse without any (self)confidence nor selflove left, but full of mistrust and only very few friends, when I finished school 10yrs later.

It then gave me a little first relief to move away from the region where I grew up and meeting souls interested in the same topics as me during my studies of Geoecology, Nature Conservation and Organic Agriculture. But my selflove grew only marginally during this time, and I was therefore still stuck in many unhealthy compensation strategies. Among them perfectionism, not being brave enough to say no, big blockages to regularily enough care well for my body and others. These are all typical symptoms of developmental trauma, btw.

In spring 2009 I broke my ankle, which led me few months later directly into my first burnout. Looking back now, I'm grateful for that, because this was the starting point to question many unhealthy beliefs and limiting societies' standards.

Very shortly after the end of my studies I got pregnant, and the first 3-4 years after giving birth were even much more challenging than the experience with my first burnout. Especially because I had to care for almost everything in my everydaylife with baby and child alone, while simultaneously facing a severe chronic lack of sleep (what makes your brain permanently dizzy and felt life threatening to me). I now call this period of my life burnout No. 2.

My keys to improve my wellbeing, health and general joy of life

In 2012 I studied the book from Marshal Rosenberg about nonviolent communication and from then regularily practiced this in a group. This helped me to get more aware about my needs and the way I talk. Because already back then I saw that the way we communicate with each other is a key, deciding if we get along with each other either peacefully or fighting. 

But way more important was the discovery of the work from Gopal Norbert Klein (www.traumaheilung.net), Dhami Charf (www.traumaheilung.de), Robert Betz and those they mentioned in their videos and books - all of these I literally inhaled since spring 2018. Because this finally gave me the context what was the cause of how I experienced myself and everything around me especially during social interaction with others. For me, this was a big mportant step forward on my inner healing journey. 

I then started to practice the communication method "Honest Sharing" as written down by Gopal Norbert Klein, which still helps me a lot to distinguish between which of my perceptions are thoughts, which are emotions and which are body sensations.
This is a necessary first step to desidentify with your perceptions and to check the truthfulness of our thoughts. 

Because among our thoughts are loads of limiting beliefs and projections from the past (=developmental trauma), that significantly influence our emotions and in consequence our decisions in the here and now. And our decisions lead to our actions and our actions cause the results we're facing in our life, massively influencing our joy of life and wellbeing. 

Another very helpful key during my healing journey were the insights I gained during my inner journeys while my brain was set into theta mode (by several methods and always in safe settings). During these states it feels to me like my mind is temporarily shut off, but instead my hearts voice (aka intuition) is talking very clearly to me. Like channeling cosmic wisdom directly into my consciousness and making me aware of connections between already wellknown aspects of my life, like puzzling them together to a big holistic meaningful picture.

These insights turned out to be the most reliable, trustworthy and therefore most important guidelines in my life. And they helped me a lot to forgive all my ancestors and other caregivers, because they got traumatized themselves during their childhood, didnt have as easy access to all the information sources and connection to likeminded people as we have nowadays. And therefore they stayed stuck in their own dysregulated autonomous nervous systems and made them unable to interact empathically enough with me, without forwarding their own (developmental) traumata to me.

In January 2024 I hazardly stumbled upon the work from Damian Richter (www.damianrichter.com), whose output is congruent with almost all the insights I already had myself before, completing them with many more aspects. This was another big katalysator on my path to finally let go most of the last residues of my old developmental traumas, finally leaving behind compensation strategies like playing the victim role but instead taking over my selfresponsability and since then confidently stepping forward into a life filled with loads of joy of life, being almost permanently connected and guided by the advice of my inner voice. 

This was and still is absolutely worth it! I wish i had found this shortcut much earlier, but: everything has to grow in its own velocity. The grass doesn't grow faster when we pull it, we can only fertilize it and  sow seeds... ;-)

What about healing my body?

The biggest chalenge I meanwhile overcame, was the unconcious blockage to care for it regularily, as a consequence of a prior lack of selflove. 
Nevertheless I learned a lot about different medical topics, especially since 2014, mainly because of being acutely affected by them myself or being in close contact with affected people around me. Most knowledge I learn(ed) from my childs dad and my father in law (R.I.P.) who was a very experienced doctor of internal medicine, and both experts in biochemistry, neurology and antiinflammatory nutrition. Other important teachers in these fields are f.ex. René Gräber, Kathrin Bender-Gonser, just to name a few. And of course I never stop learning. :-)

Since 2012, additionally I collect own experiences with a broad range of food fermentation, as well as producing different body care products by empirically applying the microbiological and chemical knowledge which I mainly collected during my studies at university and creating new experiments by following my curiosity.
I'm going to report about some of them here in the blog as far as they may contribute to your wellbeing, too.

Under the bottom line,

it's the mix of traumahealing (and the stress-reduction that automatically comes along with it), antiinflammatory diet, probiotic fermented food, selfmade cosmetics, a basic set of supplements, playing music and spending time in our garden and in nature, that turned out to be my key ingredients to holistically strenghten my health and making me much more resiliant towards any unforseen challenges that may occur.